Liham
Four years later yet. . .
— «Gìsëllé» wrote:
> 11/19/2002
> 9 pm
>
> (while listening to Moonstar’s “Liham”)
> I was reading the journal of a person (with his
> permission of course) who claims to love me. That
> darned 3-word proclamation of myocardial triumph
> over cranial function is definitely misused and
> abused. Barely midway through it I found myself
> feeling so… betrayed. Declarations of undying
> love, eternal longing - and I had yet to come to the
> part where he gets together with his legendary
> ex-girlfriend, who has set the untoppable standards
> for female desirability. So tell me, where do I fit
> in this equation? Am I just another variable, to be
> pushed around til the real value is gleaned from the
> others who have played out their functions? Can I
> actually have a future with someone who had promised
> his to someone in his past? Am I being bratty when I
> say that I refuse to share something that had been
> given to someone else before? Am I just being stuck
> in the past? Am I refusing to see whether the
> present merits a chance for the future? Maybe I’m
> just too afraid to open myself up to the possibility
> that someone can actually be true to me…
>
July 23rd, 2006 at 3:22 am
Yes, maybe you are.