anGelTears Heaven

"Ging"

That’s all it said, plainly, simply, sweetly.  It ttok my breath away, and me down memory lane.

(",)

" . . . Hang on tight.  We’ll make it better. "
- GdM, 11/28/2005

Yes, better.  Always.

" Why do I always feel like I’m running after you?"
- Christopher, 11/10/2005
" Because you’re so elusive.  You seem happier being free than being held.  And you’re not the type to be tied down even by the things you want most.
- Christopher, 11/11/2005

" Every teardrop is precious so better make sure that if you drop some, it’s worth crying for, coz you can enver pick them back and put them back to your eyes.  Love wisely. :hug:
- Aliza, 11/12/2005

" I don’t know why I still have your picture in my wallet or the 76messages on my phone.  I guess I want to keep a part of you with me.  I wonder if you do too."
- Christopher, 11/12/2005

" I caught a glimpse of Gilmore Girls, and the priest in a wedding anniv ceremony asked, ‘Who among us in this lifetime has been accepted in something he or she really wants?’  I smiled and whispered to myself. . . ‘me’.  Thank you. . ."
- GM, 11/27/2005

I appreciate your informing me of the developments in your life, albeit seemingly out of a sense of obligation.  I tried to reach out and ask for that one last chance at closure.  Now that you’re leaving, please don’t leave me hanging - still.

"Stop it, will you!  Stop it!  Just stop crying!"

I will.  In time, I shall have no more tears to shed.  For you.

" Ironic?  No it’s not.  It’s simple: the only guy who doesn’r want you is because he wants to be you, "

Um, thanks.  I think.

I don’t understand it. . . I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster ride the whole day, but I thought I’d be ending things on a high, blissful end.

I was enlightened with some of the bedtime reflections I’ve been mulling over.

I was sick, scared, panicking, pained - but ultimately triumphant when faced with issues that immediately surfaced to test my resolve on the supposed previous enlightenment.

I was enraged at the thought that someone was once more trying to walk all over my beloved mom.

I was lonely, longing, communing with my grief, calling out to the heavens.

I was safe, smiling, comfortable, comforted, helped, held - special.  It was a typical but profound night of picking through.the hopefuls and hoped for - very much one of each. 

I was in touch, reaching.  But was my hand taken or gently brushed aside?  Was that a push or a pull?  Or did I?  Or is it simply the need for rest, to quiet the weary whispers of past struggles.  I do hope it is, as someone used to chide me, just a case of me thinking too much. . .

I’m still missing Jenai so badly

I need to find my way through and out of this maze of emotions.

And since I’m still on a *sugar high. . .

I got it.  That really should teach me a lesson.

* To you (again, just in case): dreamt of your friend - again.  I think I really need my answers so I won’t be haunted anymore, even in my dreams *sigh* And to think I never really liked playing with dolls.

I’m eating chocolates, the world’s all right

EverSun friendship frontiers are seeing the sun once more - especially after being nearly literally picked off the streets.

Fellow career hopefuls are actually enjoying the much-awaited job fulfillment - or are at least seeing signs of that happening.

My family’s safe, healthy (and on its way to mumps recovery), and happy and constantly working to keep each other that way - be it through studying, small, thoughtful gestures and treats, or extra doses of gnaws (thank goodness for rabies shots) and ear scratches.

I’ve been given the honor of being made part of celebrating the first milestone in reaping the fruits of one’s labor (and immigration, corporate housekeeping, etc).  And then I realize how much preparation had gone into it, so me, the sucker for dry runs and reservations just melted.  And burped (well not literally - I still can’t).  Oh wonderful seafood.  Among others.  (",)

The chocolate’s gone (I even checked the wrapper twice), I still have all the bruises and cuts from weeks’ worth of trudging through the metro, but the world still feels all right.  Mostly.

Please let it remain that way even after I wake up.  Or get even better.

It’s a silly high schoolish crush.  Thankfully it’s more amusing than it is irritating to hear B**** this, B**** that day in, day out.  Yes, I’m very well aware of how hot, or cool your boss is.  But it’s okie, really.  In some parts of the universe, so am I.  Oh, and cold too.

You just wait though. 

P.S. Just in case this gets pointed out in the wrong context or time again, this is just a rant.  I’m bound to forget about it shortly afterwards since I’ve been able to get it off my chest

I don’t get mad.

*sweet smile*